🤝 Empathy
Rationale
Empathy — the capacity to recognise and respond to the feelings of others — is arguably the most important social skill a young child can develop. Finland’s mixed-age mentoring model, Denmark’s definition of care as ‘ethical and emotional relationships,’ and New Zealand’s legal requirement to honour every family’s culture all demonstrate that empathy is not a personality trait but a teachable, practicable skill. It is built through daily, intentional interactions.
Learning Outcomes
- The child can identify basic emotions in themselves and others.
- The child demonstrates care and concern for peers, particularly those who are upset or struggling.
- The child shows curiosity about the lives and experiences of people different from themselves.
- The child understands that actions have emotional consequences for others.
- The child can take the perspective of another person in a simple situation.
Lesson Plans
2.1 The Empathy Map
Duration: 50 minutes
Inspiration: Finnish mixed-age mentoring; Danish care-as-ethical-relationship model
Learning Intentions
- Children will practise identifying emotions in themselves and others.
- Children will develop the language to describe what another person might be thinking and feeling.
- Children will understand that empathy means trying to understand someone else’s experience.
Materials
Large sheets of paper (one per pair); markers; a set of emotion picture cards; a simple ‘Empathy Map’ template with four quadrants: What do they SEE? FEEL? THINK? NEED?
Lesson Sequence
Opening (10 min): Show children an emotion picture card — for example, a child sitting alone at lunchtime looking sad. Introduce the word ’empathy’: ‘Empathy means trying to step inside someone else’s experience — to imagine what it feels like to be them.’
Modelling (5 min): Using the Empathy Map on the board, model how to fill it in for the picture card: ‘What does this child see? Probably other children playing together. What do they feel? Maybe lonely. What do they need? Maybe someone to come and sit with them.’
Pair Activity (20 min): Give each pair a different emotion picture card and a large sheet of paper. Ask them to create their own Empathy Map for the person in their picture, drawing and/or dictating their ideas in each quadrant.
Gallery Walk & Closing (15 min): Display all the Empathy Maps around the room. Children walk around and look at each other’s work. ‘Did any pair notice something you hadn’t thought of?’
Discussion Prompts
- Can you empathise with someone you’ve never met?
- Is it possible to empathise with someone even if you disagree with them?
- What’s the difference between feeling sorry for someone and empathising with them?
Extension Activity
Children choose a character from a favourite book and create an Empathy Map for them at a key moment in the story.
Assessment Note
Observe the depth of children’s responses — are they identifying surface emotions or beginning to infer underlying thoughts and needs?
2.2 The Kindness Ripple
Duration: 45 minutes
Inspiration: New Zealand’s community and belonging strands; Norwegian multicultural integration
Learning Intentions
- Children will understand that small acts of kindness have effects that extend beyond the immediate moment.
- Children will practise identifying and performing specific acts of kindness.
- Children will develop the habit of noticing kindness in their environment.
Materials
A bowl of water; a small stone; blue paper cut into concentric circles (the ‘ripple cards’); markers; a large display board labelled ‘Our Kindness Ripples.’
Lesson Sequence
Opening (5 min): Drop the stone into the bowl of water. Watch the ripples together. ‘What do you notice? The ripple starts small and gets bigger and bigger. Kindness is like that — one small kind act can ripple out and affect many people.’
Story (10 min): Read or tell a short story about a chain of kindness — a child who helps a friend, who then feels happy and helps someone else, who then goes home and is kind to a sibling, and so on.
Activity (20 min): Give each child a set of ripple cards. In the centre circle, they draw or write one kind thing they did recently. In the next circle, they draw who that kindness affected. In the outer circle, they imagine how that person might then pass the kindness on.
Sharing & Closing (10 min): Invite children to share their ripple with the group. Display all ripple cards on the board, overlapping to create a visual sea of kindness. ‘Every day, you have the power to start a kindness ripple.’
Discussion Prompts
- Has anyone ever received a kindness from a stranger? How did it feel?
- Can you be kind to someone you don’t like? Is that still kindness?
- What’s the difference between being kind because you want something and being kind just because?
Extension Activity
The class keeps a ‘Kindness Ripple Journal’ — a shared book in which children and educators record acts of kindness they observe each week.
Assessment Note
Observe whether children can articulate the effect of kindness on others, not just the act itself. This indicates developing perspective-taking and causal reasoning.
2.3 Walking in Different Shoes
Duration: 55 minutes
Inspiration: Swedish anti-discrimination framework; New Zealand’s cultural diversity strand
Learning Intentions
- Children will practise perspective-taking by inhabiting a character different from themselves.
- Children will develop curiosity about lives and experiences different from their own.
- Children will understand that difference is a source of richness, not a problem.
Materials
A collection of different shoes (a baby shoe, a work boot, a dance shoe, a walking shoe, a flip-flop, a sports shoe); a simple ‘character card’ for each shoe; drawing paper; crayons.
Lesson Sequence
Opening (5 min): Lay the shoes out in a circle. ‘Each of these shoes belongs to a different person. What can you tell about a person from their shoes?’ Take responses — encourage observation and inference.
Character Exploration (20 min): Divide children into small groups. Each group receives one shoe and its character card (e.g., ‘This boot belongs to a farmer who gets up before sunrise every day to feed her animals.’). Groups discuss: What does this person’s day look like? What do they love? What makes them happy?
Sharing (15 min): Each group shares their character with the class. Encourage other children to ask questions: ‘What do you think they eat for breakfast?’ ‘What’s their favourite thing about their job?’
Drawing Activity & Closing (15 min): Each child draws themselves standing next to their character, doing something together. ‘Today we walked in someone else’s shoes — just a little bit. What did you discover?’
Discussion Prompts
- Is it possible to understand someone’s life if you’ve never lived it?
- What would you want someone to know about your life if they were walking in your shoes?
- Why might it be important to try to understand people who are very different from us?
Extension Activity
Children bring in a shoe from home and write (or dictate) a ‘shoe story’ — the story of where that shoe has been and what it has experienced.
Assessment Note
Observe the richness of children’s imaginative engagement with the character — are they projecting their own experience, or genuinely attempting to inhabit a different perspective?
2.4 The Comfort Toolkit
Duration: 45 minutes
Inspiration: Finnish emotional self-regulation practice; Danish care-as-ethical-relationship model
Learning Intentions
- Children will identify specific things that help them feel better when they are upset.
- Children will understand that different things comfort different people.
- Children will practise offering comfort to others in a way that is genuinely helpful to them.
Materials
A small box or bag for each child (the ‘Comfort Toolkit’); art supplies; a selection of small objects (a piece of soft fabric, a smooth stone, a small photograph); a ‘Comfort Menu’ poster.
Lesson Sequence
Opening (5 min): ‘Has anyone ever tried to comfort a friend and it didn’t quite work? Maybe you gave them a hug but they actually needed some quiet time? Today we’re going to discover that comfort is personal.’
Personal Reflection (10 min): Ask children to think about a time they felt sad, scared, or upset. ‘What helped you feel better? Was it a person? A place? An object? An activity?’ Share your own example first to model vulnerability.
Toolkit Creation (20 min): Each child decorates their small box and fills it with things that comfort them — a drawing of their favourite person, a piece of soft fabric, a note from a family member, a small stone from outside.
Partner Share & Closing (10 min): In pairs, children share one thing in their toolkit and explain why it helps. ‘When a friend is upset, the most empathetic thing you can do is ask: What would help you right now? — not assume you know.’
Discussion Prompts
- Why might the same thing that comforts you not comfort your friend?
- How do you find out what someone needs when they’re upset?
- Is it okay to need comfort? Is it okay to ask for it?
Extension Activity
Children make a ‘Comfort Card’ for a family member — a small card explaining what that person could do to help them when they’re feeling upset.
Assessment Note
Observe children’s self-awareness in identifying their own comfort needs. Note children who struggle to identify any comforting strategies — this may indicate a need for additional emotional support.
2.5 The Feelings Library
Duration: 60 minutes
Inspiration: Finnish emotion-first pedagogy; Danish ethical care model
Learning Intentions
- Children will expand their emotional vocabulary beyond basic labels (happy, sad, angry).
- Children will understand that emotions exist on a spectrum and can be complex.
- Children will create a shared classroom resource for emotional literacy.
Materials
A wide range of picture books featuring emotional complexity; large index cards; art supplies; a bookshelf or display area labelled ‘Our Feelings Library.’
Lesson Sequence
Session 1 — Reading (30 min): Read two or three picture books together, pausing to discuss the emotional landscape of each. Introduce nuanced emotion words: frustrated, overwhelmed, nervous, proud, relieved, conflicted, melancholy, exhilarated. Ask: ‘Has anyone ever felt this? Can you describe what it feels like in your body?’
Session 2 — Creating the Library (30 min): Each child chooses one emotion word that resonates with them and creates an ‘Emotion Card’ for the Feelings Library. The card includes: the emotion word, a drawing of what it looks like on a face, a description of what it feels like in the body, a situation that might cause it, and one thing that helps.
Discussion Prompts
- Is there an emotion that doesn’t have a word yet? Can you invent one?
- Why do you think having more words for feelings might be helpful?
- Can two people feel the same emotion for completely different reasons?
Extension Activity
Children add to the Feelings Library throughout the year as they encounter new emotions. Families are invited to contribute emotion words from their home languages.
Assessment Note
The Feelings Library cards are rich assessment artefacts. Observe the sophistication of children’s descriptions — particularly the ‘what it feels like in the body’ section, which indicates somatic emotional awareness.